Posted: Thursday, February 24th, 2022

How would you describe your level of self-confidence?

Last year I coached a client Keith who was referred by his manager. In our meetings he described himself as a weak team leader. However, because he’d been so good at his job as a programmer, he was promoted to a team leader by management. They said he had potential. He was placed in charge of a team of 10 programmers where teamwork and clear communication were essential. I asked him how he thought his team members would describe him in one word. Weak was again his answer.

He struggled with poor self-confidence. This presented in the way he carried himself and his presence with his team. His general demeanour, the slouched shoulders and a low voice all underpinned this poor self confidence.

List all the things at which you are good…

Dr Amy Cuddy, the renowned Harvard Social Psychologist talks about “faking it till you make it.” She talks about making yourself “big” and encourages people to make themselves as physically big as they can. Presence and the way you present yourself matter. If you think of yourself as small or weak, you’ll stay small.

However, if you start small and list all the things at which you are good and regularly review them, you will begin to appreciate yourself from a different perspective. You’ll begin to walk tall. If you take just one action every day that moves you towards your goal and out of your comfort zone you will begin to grow. You will begin to believe in yourself and your unlimited potential.

Change the self-talk…

Changing poor self-confidence is a process. Like every process, it begins with one step. If you struggle with poor self-confidence (and we all do at times regardless of our experience) take the first step by reminding yourself about all the things at which you are good. Do this every day, several times a day. Slowly your subconscious will begin to absorb the new positive self-talk. You will begin to reframe things and change the self-talk. You’ll walk taller, act more confident and you’ll instill confidence with all your team members. You’ll eliminate the negative thoughts that eats at your potential. Your performance will start to improve.

Keith tried this as a first step over a few weeks. He continues to do it now many months later. He’s now a manager feeling and acting much stronger. His team has also grown and embraced the clarity he now brings with his role.

Start acting like the person you would like to be…

Developing your self-confidence takes time and some self-reflection. Find that time for yourself and review the root causes of what might be holding you back. Start by reviewing the self-talk and acting like the person you would like to be.

If you struggle with poor self-confidence, and would like to discuss it, why don’t you set up a call and we can agree some actions to help you develop yourself.